It’s Thanksgiving weekend and all through the house
Decorations are everywhere thanks to my spouse
Turkeys and pumpkins, some Halloween stuff too
A cornucopia of clutter forever within my view
Family is forever, and that’s what I fear
To get through this weekend, is gonna take a lotta beer
Children running and screaming, making all kinds of noise
Parents throwing up their arms, figuring boys will be boys
Four or five hours, turkey takes a long time to cook
Maybe those frozen dinners deserve a second look
I’m hungry God dammit, when can we eat
I want to dig in, and fill my belly with meat
Mashed potatoes, gravy, and don’t forget the stuffing
Am I really full already, or is my stomach just bluffing?
I eat more regardless, until I can’t move
Music is playing, but I’m in no shape to groove
Is it hot in here or is it just me, I’m starting to sweat
My poor stomach aches, full of turkey and regret
The table is cleared, turkey carcass waves goodbye
My mother-in-law yells from the kitchen, "Who wants some pie!"
Of course I say “I do”, fighting that feeling of doom
Thinking a burp and a fart would sure help make some room
But we’re all sitting at the table, alas I cannot do that
Just have to sit here and moan, “Oh man, I feel fat!”
Still I am thankful, and for that I can boast
It’s people, not things, that matter the most
I’m a pretty lucky guy, despite all my rants
Happy Thanksgiving to all, put on your stretchy pants!
** Disclaimer: This of course does not reflect in any way whatsoever the wonderful family members that I will be visiting this weekend. Any resemblance to actual family members is purely coincidental!